And all i ever wanted was...to run!

It has been so long since i wrote my last post and there should have been some recent posts about races but unfortunately life is unpredictable or as the famous saying: ”Man plans and God laughs…” . In other words, for the first time in my life i experienced a severe running injury which prevented me from running (and actually from even walking normally) for the past 5 weeks.

I guess it all started about 4 months ago when i started reading Eat & Run by Scott Jurek. Anyone who has read the book cannot deny how inspiring the guy is and how motivating he is. In fact, while reading the book you actually feel as if you could run 160km if you just wanted to…I mean the guy ran the whole Hardrock 100 with a sprained ankle which happened just 2 days before his race and yet…he came first. Moreover, after watching the movie : ‘Running on the Sun: The Badwater 135’ every time i ran and felt tired i had to tell myself: If those people ran the Badwater in almost 50 Celsius degrees and survived, what are 20-30km in the rainy Helsinki?

And why do i tell all this? Because i guess this was the reason why i started increasing my weekly milage week by week. I started dreaming about how i ran my first ultra and started to plan my way towards my dream : to run the Western States 100.. (Scott, look what you’ve done to me..:)

During February it was still 70-80km per week while in March it increased to more than 100km per week. I ran almost everyday. On the weekends i covered about 50km while on weekdays i used to run-commute whenever possible in addition to my gym group exercises. The incredible thing was that week by week i felt stronger…it was as if my legs just adopted to the stress and unlike 6 months ago, i didn’t even have to use my ‘ice-gel’ to relieve my crampled muscles…it felt damn good ! But what even more amazing was that i started to notice how much my running technique has improved..the legs just ‘learnt’ how to run more economically , i.e., saving energy..I was really happy and of course, i was even more motivated to run…i even remember that on one sunny day i managed to ‘squeeze’ one morning run, one afternoon interavals workout , one group exercise altogether with run-commuting afterwards from the gym to home…wow…it seems unreal now that i think about it..but let’s get to the point: my injury.

It started about 2-3 weeks after running about 100km per week , around the end of March. A wise (or experienced) runner would have reduced the training impact to about 70% to let the body recover..but not me..:) so... I started having pain in my forefeet, however, since the pain disappeared after the first few kilometers of the run i just continued. I let myself believe that this was nothing serious. After another week, the pain aggravated but still was tolerable. Thus, i continued running as usual, and even increased my weekly distance ( i ran about 470km during March alone! ). Running had become an integral part of my daily routine…same as eating breakfast or brushing the teeth…something i could not live without. At some point, i was suspecting the problem might be in the shoes so i tried different pairs of shoes for each run. This ,of course, did not help, and even made the problem worse since i noticed i could not run anymore with shoes that have a high heel drop.

The peak of my crazy training regime was reached during Easter. On the first day i ran 35km with an excruciating pain. When i got home i just took Ibuprofen and thought the problem would go away by the next day. Eventually, i ran during the 4 days of Easter nearly 100km. On the following day when i went to work i was shocked to realize i could not step on my left foot. I was limping heavily… Now, that was the point when i started to panic. Yet, i thought i’d just rest for few days and continue to run after few days, so i just continued with my group and gym exercises. However, surprise, surprise…the pain hasn’t declined and when i attempted to run only about 10km during the following weekend, i realized there’s no point as the pain was there and it didn’t let go of my foot. Now , that was when it finally sank in my brain: i was severely injured (at that point i wasn’t even sure what was the problem) and it seemed to be a problem that wasn’t gonna go away so easily. When i finally went to a doctor few days later he could not help much and as the Xray did not reveal any fracture (typically stress fractures are only seen on X-rays about 3 weeks after the injury) , the only advice i got was to continue with the pain killers and rest…and that was the same advice i got from another doctor whom i visited two weeks since i was still in pain. And you have to understand that unless i must, i never but never visit doctors…i think i’ve seen more doctors in the last month than in the last 5 years or so. It always amazes me how much we take the small things for granted and we only value them once they’re gone..During the month of April i was not only feeling jealous of every runner i met on my way, but i was actually jealous of every person waking normally.

I had pain with every step i took and it was somewhat OK for one week but after three weeks it became mentally very difficult..it felt as if i was in pain every second of my life in which i’m awake…but the hardest part was not the physical pain but the realization that i wouldn't be able to run for what seemed to be forever. All i ever wanted was to run, just run..nothing else.. simple as that. It seems almost ridiculous to most people..but only runners can understand the passion for running which burns within the soul of a runner.

I did learn a lot about cross training during that period: whenever i could i biked, went to gym , went swimming and discovered the deep water running which is considered as the best cross-training for injured runners. I was inspired by ultra-runners like Anna Frost and Ellie Greenwood who also went through ‘non-running’ periods for different reasons. It took me 4 weeks until i stopped limping (i’m still having a slight pain while walking and my walking is not perfect yet) and contrary to doctor’s advice i reached my breaking point earlier than i should have and went for a slow run. It felt so weird and i was so slow but it was almost painless…i was happy as if i just ran my first marathon!

Now, that was two weeks ago, and tomorrow i’m about to try to run my first ‘mini’ ultra- The 53km of NUTS Karhunkierros. How crazy is that ??!! Running this trail has been a dream of mine for so long and this is not like how i’d like to reach the starting point but it’s even a miracle i’m able to run slowly without pain so my only wish is to reach the finish line without any severe pain. Obviously, now that i’ve learnt the hard way to listen to my body i know i’m gonna stop and walk the moment i feel a pain which does not go away with time. I missed two local races while being injured and last weak i ran very slowly with my friend Palash the Helsinki City Run, because i knew i was not in any condition for racing. Yet, i must say it was really fun experiencing a race from a non-racer point of view: I was motivating other runners and even met one nice girl who hopefully becomes my new running partner! How cool is that?

Me and Palash at the starting line of HCM 2015

Anyway, it’s time now to get ready for tomorrow and load some carbs! I have no idea if i manage to cross the finish line…but i even miss this feeling of exhaustion when you reach what seems to be your limit..and then you just break it! so tomorrow, if my feet don’t betray me, i’ll try to push my boundaries again into a new limit!