CTS Dorset Ultra Plus, 05.12.15

If miracles happen, then one certainly happened on Saturday, the 5th of December. To make a long story short: I managed to finish (in one piece!!) the CTS Dorst Ultra Plus: 73km with approximately 2500m elevation. Not only, did I manage to run this distance, I managed to run it against the most brutal wind I’ve even experienced and with continuous pain in my right leg.

My story begins on the day before when I arrived to West Lulworth . I wish I had known before that except one restaurant and a pub there is not even a single supermarket there! Obviously a car would be very useful there! Luckily, the owner of the B&B I was staying picked me up from Wool train station so it made things a bit easier. I was so nervous the day before and not really in a good mood since I was sure I wouldn’t be able to run. Moreover, after running so many races this year with injuries, the last thing I needed was to run another one with an injury that wass not fully recovered, let alone not 73km. When I visited the Lulworth Cove the day before, it was a bit sunny so I just tried to relax a bit and enjoy this beautiful place. I ate dinner (pasta, of course!) in the local pub (The castle Inn) and went to pick up my bib number and all the other race essentials from the Lulworth cove (the race starting/fihish location) . I was standing there in the queue to pick up my things feeling so anxious feeling even a bit stupid because I was thinking to myself: “what’s the point ? , you’re not gonna finish anyway..”.

I went to sleep as early as I could since I needed to be at the start-line (the cove) already at 7 A.M. since the race starts at 8. I had to eat cereals for breakfast since the B&B didn’t offer any food before 8 a.m☺

The walk to start line is about half an hour so I had a bit of time to relax and arrange my thoughts before the race. Those were the dry facts I had to deal with in my mind:

1. My hamstring is only about 80-90% recovered. Whenever I went even for a 10 km run I used to suffer from muscle cramps for several days afterwards. My running is inefficient and most likely I won’t have the energy to continue over 40km (after all , the one time I tried to run for more than 3 hours in the past months I injured my right foot ☺)

2. I had a weird pain in my left shin bone for the past two weeks which could be either shin splint or stress fracture. I was hoping for the first option.

3. Either no. 1 or no. 2 would probably prevent me from finishing this race, which one, I wasn’t sure.

4. I knew for a fact I wasn’t ready for another several months of recovery after this race, so I decided to do my best, but at the same time do the sensible thing and stop if I knew I was causing a severe damage to my legs.

However, I also tried to look on the bright side of my situation (if there really was such..), so I tried to tell myself the following things:

1. Try to think of this race as your last half of a 100 miler. Let’s pretend you start this race like you’ve already run for about 50 miles…now you really get to feel what it would be like to struggle with a long distance when your legs are so weak and tired. You really get to be in this ‘dark place’ that most ultra-runners go through when they run more than 50 miles.

2. Just think that today, instead of climbing Malminkartanonhuippu (my training hill) 10 times as you usually do, you will do it 50 times more or less…☺ That should be interesting….

3. Try to enjoy the view. After all, that's why you love running so much.

The ultra plus trail consisted of 3 loops. The first loop is the marathon course and it consists of two smaller loops and is in total is about 44km. Then the second loop is about 19km and is actually the first loop of the marathon course. Then the last loop is 10km and is half of the second loop.

I really don’t like racing in loops, but the good thing is that I would pass the start line 3 times during the run, so I can leave some of the supplies (food, energy gels, and head torch) in a drop bag near the start/finish line. After the briefing I took my hydration pack and I was ready to go. My only aim at this point was to reach the first check point (CP1) after about 10km and see how things are going from there. The course starts with quite a long ascent but not a steep one (I hate when races start with an ascent!!:). Unfortunately, I immediately felt a slight pain at the back of my thighs…so I was very stressed about this. I read that muscles tend to be tighter once we are nervous so I was trying to tell myself to relax and just do my best. Ironically, the biggest struggle from the very beginning was not against the hills nor my legs, it was the strong wind (it was a wind blowing in a speed more than 30 km/hr). It was so strong that it was sometimes difficult to walk so it became easier to run. Runners were tripping and stumbling all the time (including me of course). The first 5-6 km are climbing and descending hills…I love those so much! Luckily there was no pain on my left leg and I only felt a slight pain in my right leg because of my hamstring. I can’t run fast, but I can climb and run downhills quite fast. I was still very nervous back then because I was worried my right leg was not strong enough to survive this course for about 10 hours. However, after the hills the trails were more flat and went through a forest with more boggy trails. I really have a hard time running on flat so I had to be slow, but I was relieved to reach CP1 after about 1.5 hours. I feel pain, but the pain is bearable. I can go on for the time being. Now I have to complete about 9 km before I go back to the start line to continue for the second loop of the marathon. Luckily, almost the entire course from this point is descending except very small ascents. I tried to pick up my pace on the downhills and felt happy again. I love so much running downhills! I started to be more relaxed and even the pain of my hamstring was just a tiny disturbance at that point (I guess once the muscles are warm the pain decreases). Unfortunately, just as I was during my last downhill towards the start-line I started having a sharp pain on my right shin bone. That was weird. I was expecting a pain on my left bone, but not the right one. The pain sometimes was very sharp and strong especially on the sharp downhills and was lower on the flat/ascending sections. I was not going to let this pain to destroy this race for me. No way! I knew that it was not from previous injury so it must be from the downhills. I reached the start-line, refueled and continued to the second loop of the marathon course. First the trail goes on the beach through the cove. The big stones don’t really enable to run fast so I just try to increase my strides. After about 500m we start to ascend again towards the mountains. I’m very tired already, but eager to climb. I feel a bit re-energized and more importantly, slightly more relieved and relaxed. I start to do what I love the most, climb, run on trails and enjoy the view. The wind again is very strong making running almost impossible in so many sections but I fight it as hard as I can until I reach CP3. I grab another banana, energy gel and I know I have only about 8-9 km to complete the marathon and go back to start line to begin the second loop . Now I really start to struggle. Mainly because of the wind and the pain in my right shin bone that is constantly annoying me. I decide to reach the start-line and then see if I can call it a day. The last few miles are just horrible. Such a strong wind. Except one hill that I really loved climbing I was mainly struggling against the strong wind. I was praying in my head that when I reach again the start-line the organizers will inform us that the ultra-distances are cancelled due to weather conditions..:) I was so desperate. When I finally was descending again towards the cove I was a bit more hopeful. By the time I reached again the start line about 6 hours have passed. I was considering to stop. I knew if I stopped I could go back and feel good and my leg will recover anytime soon. But I just couldn’t. I knew there was pain, there was wind. But most importantly, I still haven’t given everything I had. I still had some energy left in me to continue. The desire to do the one thing I was considering as impossible for so long was stronger than the wind and the pain.

I took a tiny break to go for toilets, food, drink , took more energy gels with me and my head torch and I started to ascend towards the second loop of 19km. The same one I ran at the beginning, except now the wind is stronger and I’m more tired. But I climbed, walked, cursed the wind, ran whenever was possible and after the hilly section I was even running pretty fast considering my situation towards the next CP. There, I was told I was number 47, I said I really didn’t care since I just wanted to finish (and preferably not injured). As I left the CP I could see the sky was colored in red, it was so beautiful even though it meant that soon I’d have to run in complete darkness led only by my head torch. I was running with very few runners by my side so it was not easy. But I was optimistic. No more sadness or worries. I’m running, I’m actually running more than 7 hours already and surprisingly I’m doing ok. Not great, not good but I’ve survived so far that quitting was not reasonable at that point. Descending the last miles towards the stat line before the 3rd loop were way more difficult this time. Not only was I running in complete darkens, I was constantly bothered by my right shin bone. I was even considering that I would get a stress fracture by the time I finish. That didn’t stop me. With my last sources of energy I started my third and last loop of 10km. At that point I started also feeling a bit sick since I could not digest anymore the energy gels ( I took about 10 already I guess) and I felt as if I was going to pass out any second. On top of that, I made a foolish mistake and took a wrong turn which I had to pay with extra 10-15 minutes. The last hilly section was so hard. I was alone, could not see anyone and was struggling with a very very strong wind. On the other hand i’m actually happy i got my first time to run during the night because i need to get used to it for future races. It was a bit funny to see at some point several shining eyes staring at me in the darkness…it took me few seconds to realized those were cows.. :) I was so happy and relieved when I finally saw the sign pointing to turn right for the 10km course (I was afraid the entire time to miss the sign and continue to the wrong direction). After about 300m I finally reached the last CP. I could not believe it myself. The guy registered my number and then told me I had only about 3 miles to run with a back-wind!! Yey!! I was so happy, didn’t care at all about anything. I was feeling sick and my right hamstring was starting to tell me that it could not take it for much longer. I tried to run with a comfortable pace but not too fast (I was afraid to pull my hamstring again) until I could see the beautiful illumination of the lights just beneath the hill I was running on. I was so excited and thrilled. I could barely reach the finish line but when I did I couldn’t be happier!! I DID IT!! One of the organizers told me i was placed 44th and that i finished after 10:58. I know that’s very slow but that was the last thing on my mind at that point.

There isn’t a better feeling than doing something you’re sure you can’t do. My legs have failed me so many times but on that day, they surprised me and proved to me that the human body is the most amazing thing I own and my desire to run on the mountains can get me anywhere if I just want it strong enough.

After I was given a medal I grabbed my things and started to pack my stuff. I was so hungry at that point. I ate only bananas and energy gels for 11 hours. At the tent with drop bags i met Johannes and i asked if he can offer a ride to the nearest pub. He didn’t have a car but he was searching for a place to eat so we both walked there slowly…there he introduced me some of his friends from the London running club and i had a wonderful evening with a lot of nice conversations with enthusiastic runners. Unfortunately, i started feeling really bad at some point so i had to lie down at the pub because i assume i got dehydrated or felt nausea because of all the energy gels i consumed. Luckily, Johannes and Matt took me with their taxi back to the B&B and made sure i was fine. I was so lucky to meet such nice runners and most importantly, very caring people.

Luckily, the day after , the nausea was gone, and i was left only with very cramped muscles. Yet, i wanted my legs to walk a bit so i walked a while to see the Lulworth castle which was nice since the day was quite rainy so i really wasn’t in the mood to spend too much time outdoors. I was really scared that my hamstring would be so cramped after 11 hours of running that it would take a month to get back to usual. However, i was surprised that although my right leg was obviously recovering very slowly compared with the left one, when i went to my usual Step Interval class on Tuesday (my favorite class), to my surprise i could exercise without any severe pain which was great! In fact, i continued with all my indoor training program as usual for the rest of the week. Furthermore, the pain i had in the right shin bone during the race completely disappeared already the day after the race. I have no idea why or how but i was so relieved. On the other hand, as soon as i got back to Finland, my pain in the left shin bone re-appeared :) However, the pain is not that severe so although it’s fairly disturbing i’m hoping this will also go away once my hamstring completely heals..(probably in one month or so). One week after the race i went for a slow run, but i realized my hamstring is still painful so i’d better give it more rest, it deserves it now. Finally, i can rest now.

To sum up, here are my conclusions from the race:

• Sometimes my fear of re-injuring myself is so strong i lose my confidence in my legs to a point i actually don’t believe they can run even 10km…i really have to make sure i get my confidence back.

• I’m lucky to be an ultra-runner. I still can’t run fast or even tempo runs. So i definitely could not run any run shorter than a marathon. However, long and slow runs are acceptable somehow, that is how i managed to run for 11 hours- even though i could only run slow i had the endurance to do it for a long time without re-injuring myself.

• I hope to never run with injuries again. I know i said it too many times this year. I hope 2016 will be better than 2015 in that sense.

• The race was a miracle. The more i think about it i have no idea to explain how legs that could not run for more than 20km for three long months could run 73km on mountains. And i finished in one piece! I know that this run of course didn’t do any good to my hamstring, and that there is not a single physician in the world that would approve me to run in my situation, so i’m so glad i did it. I think that on that day my desire to run in the mountains after so long was the biggest and the best source of energy i had.

• I could have not made it without all my indoor cross-training. Even tough there is no indoor activity that could really substitute a long run, all my group trainings, hill reps, elliptical sessions and bike rides have helped to strengthen my other muscles and helped my to maintain my fitness. I even believe that if and when i’m completely healed i could even be a better runner than before.

• May 2016 be injury-free. I really can’t afford another long break from running , especially since i’m supposed to train for very long and hard races next year.

• Even tough i was injured during most of this year, i have learnt more about running and my body than ever before. All those injuries have taught me a lot. I only now realized that with each of those injuries i was going through the same stages as grieving : Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I know this because i finally reached the acceptance stage with my latest injury. I’ve gone through those stages when i lost someone close or when i was grieving over a relationship that ended. I haven’t realized until recently that when recovering from injuries we go though similar stages.