Hopes and Fears : 2016

It’s been a while since i’ve written here, although there has been so much going on in my life lately.

In fact, the last month was more like riding on a roller coaster. My main goal during the last month was to recover physically from my injuries and just rest and take it easy. Towards the end of 2015 i went back home for 2.5 weeks which gave me the perfect excuse to heal faster. Initially, i was planning to use the time to train in the mountains…but then after Dorset i wasn’t sure i’d be able to run at all. Luckily, i was able to do several short runs and few trail runs and hikes which i’m highly grateful for. The most important and great experience was meeting with our new family dog, Mika, who was literally my best companion during the whole time and accompanied me on all my runs. She is one of the sweetest and friendliest dogs i’e ever met and she is so damn energetic. We had so much fun together. Ever since Joy, my best friend who died few years back i have been longing for a very long time to have a dog to run with. Mika filled that void for me during my visit back home. I wish i could take her with me to Finland :) I can’t wait to go back home once again and see her. I miss her so much already.

In addition, i had a very good reason to be happy: i was accepted to be an ambassador for SisuGirls during 2016! I'm so so happy for that! You can't have a better reason than that to continue running! I'm so hoping to be a good ambassador for them since i respect their work and activties so much! I can't wait to inspire other girls out there to lace up their shoes and go hit the trails!

Getting back to Finland was quite horrible. It was freezing hell when i came back , about -20 degrees so i couldn’t leave the house for long and on top of that i’ve been so depressed due to so many reasons…it felt like everything is changing and i just couldn’t handle all those changes at once. Luckily i had the third season of Broen (my favorite TV series) and Fargo to help me to go through that time and most importantly, Johannes was there for me and cheered me up and made me feel so much better. We hope to meet again in the spring/summer and go for trail running together. I’m so lucky to have good friends in my life, and it’s so nice to find new friends on the trails (we met in Dorset)!

Anyhow, after a long week of stress and dark feelings i finally got a very good reason to smile: I was lucky in a draw and won the ticket to my dream race : The CCC (Courmayeur Champex Chamonix) , the litter sister of UTMB in August. I have been dreaming about this ever since August 2015 when i was constantly following the race and Pete was so much recommending that i knew i had to try. In fact, one of the reasons why it was so important for me to run in Dorset was the 2 UTMB points i needed in order to apply for the CCC.

Meanwhile, my leg has not healed completely from my hamstring injury, i still carry a dull pain , but i can run about 40-50km per week, which is a huge improvement compared with the 5-20km i could run before Dorset. I’m still not fully recovered, i have sometimes still pain in my left shin bone, my muscles get spasms almost every few days but i’m trying not to lose hope but i desperately need to run pain free in 1-2 months. My dreams for 2016 are so different from 2015. This time, i have decided to concentrate on the 2 most important races: Mont Blanc 80km on June and the CCC on August and not to race so many small local races or road marathons. In fact, i’d say that my biggest dream is not even to race, but rather just heal and run pain free by the spring so that i could train properly.

Ever since the last spring i wasn’t able to reach the weekly milage i used to run (about 100-120km) and i’m so hoping to reach it back.

I’d have to train much harder than in the previous year, so i hope my body can take this. Few days back, i slipped on the icy road and strained my left quad that i was limping all the way home even though i somehow trained at the gym right after. I was so scared i was sure i had another muscle tear. I was so relieved the day after when i was better and that i could even run the following days that i couldn’t be happier. This all experience just made me realize i should just be grateful i can run at the moment and be fine with that. The speed work and racing which i still can’t do at the moment will wait for me. At the moment i’m just happy i can plan new trails every weekend! It’s such a big reward after such a dark period.

To sum up, i’d have to work so hard this year, but in the end all i hope for is to run pain free again and to be able to reach every start line health and well trained.