NUTS Karhunkierros 2016- How i got my first DNF

NUTS Karhunkierros 2016

It’s a late evening hour over the hills around Kuusamo in Lapland, and it’s a magical evening, it’s warm and the view is spectacular. I wish i could just stop, lie down , look over the hills and just stay there forever. But i can’t. There are tears in my eyes as i struggle with every step i take. I don’t even know what time it is but all i wish is to reach the last aid station. My right hip hurts like hell due to a nasty fall early in the race, my right calf hurts just below the knee due to my hamstring injury, my left knee is in excruciating pain whenever i descend , i can’t move my left shoulder. I drink so much but i’m still thirsty, i’m hungry but i can’t digest any energy gel and on top of that i have to stop every few minutes to pee….

I’m thinking i must be the last runner since even the fast hiker have already passed me…I’m alone there, and all i want to do is just to stop. For the first time ever in a race i know i can’t go further since there’s a chance i won’t reach the finish line. I’m so exhausted that i can barely walk.

During the whole day i’ve been dreaming to reach the top of Valtavaara, the highest hill on the route . Twice i reached it before and it was raining and windy and i couldn’t enjoy the view from the top. This time, it’s pure magic, but i know i can’t reach it. It tears me from the inside, but when i finally hobble towards the last aid station, all i can say is : ‘That’s it for me. I quit. Please take me out of here’. They comfort me , provide me with food and blanket to keep me warm and i sadly digest the only thing i could on that day: it’s my first DNF.

When reflecting back few days before the race, i realized i did every possible mistake: i didn’t taper properly, i was on antibiotics the whole week before race day and i didn’t even know their adverse affect on the human body, and i was extremely nervous the whole week. Ever since the Nuuksio marathon during which i basically tore my hamstring i developed a certain phobia… i’m always scared to re-injure myself in a severe way. And running 80km on the Karhunkierros is definitely not the best idea while still recovering from a hamstring injury. But on the other side, i love testing my limits, and that’s what i did on that day.

I felt actually quite good on the race day. Even though i didn’t get much sleep the night before considering i had to wake up at 4 a.m., my legs seemed to be OK, and that’s what matters. The first miles were slow and easy. Just a single track, going through thick forests paths. It felt pretty good for the first 15km . Then, my hamstring was starting to signal me that it’s getting tired, but that was not a big issue, since i somehow expected that. Once the path got wider, i overtook the slow runners and started going faster. I think that was my first mistake. I should have taken it easy …

I started stumbling and falling down too often and i noticed already i’m drinking more than usual.

About 3 km before the first aid station i had a real nasty fall. I landed on the side of my right hip. From that moment until the end of that day, it wasn’t my hamstring that was hurting, but my hip. That’s it, a new sharp pain always overtakes the ‘old’ familiar one. I learnt it for the first time on the same trail when i sprained my ankle on the same foot where i had stress fracture.

Anyway, when i reached the first station, i was still in good shape. I reached it after 3 hours and 20 min which was a good time and i felt good except my hip that hurt and the fact i was very thirsty and i realized i was drinking more than usual. Yet, i felt strong to continue. I refueled , drank , removed extra clothes and kept going. It was all fine for the first few miles but then it hit me. I was thirsty, i was drinking and i was still thirsty. My stomach hurt, i needed to pee too often… (in times like that i really wish i was a man….) . I felt nauseous and i was slower from minute to minute. I knew what was going on…but i couldn’t believe it had happened so early. I’ve experienced the same feeling before, but typically after the race was over…not 4 hours into a race. I was so nervous i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to continue even to the next station. Runners started to pass me, they all were so kind and offered any possible help: i got salt, water, a map and comforting words. At that point, continued jogging slowly until i finally reached a cabin where a nice lady who turned out to be one of the race personnel offered her help. She was there with her husband and their lovely dog and they were so nice to me. I rested there for a while and i felt a bit better. I decided to continue to the next station slowly. The lady told me that i’d need to run for 16 km approximately to reach it. I felt i could do it, so i decided to continue. At that point i started to feel better. I started running again. I was somewhat fine, my legs were good and i was moving forward. I was slow , but running. However, i was still fighting thirst. This forced me to stop often and refill my water from the river. Luckily, i could do that often enough. I kept falling, which was annoying, and i was exhausted but i kept somehow running. I realized that i was one of the last runners and so i decided that once i reach the next station in Juuma i would stop there. When i finally reached Juuma i felt as if i felt as if i reached heaven for few seconds. I was happy to see there the guy who spent with me the night last year at the hospital when i sprained my ankle. He and the other girl at the station told me to rest for a while and then see if i can continue.

Until now it’s hard for me to say why i continued from there. I knew perfectly i wasn’t in a condition to keep running. I knew it would just be suffering. I think it’s the side of me that just didn’t want to give up, the side of me that wanted to see Valtavaara once again !

And so, almost alone i kept going. It was somewhat ok for the next hour but then once the terrain became more and more hilly it became harder…i lost every drop of energy within me. Every step i made was filled with pain.

My slow run turned into an even slower jog which turned into a power hike which turned into a slow walk until i literally collapsed in the last station. 6 km before the finish line. If the last 6 km had been fast and flat i would have crawled to the finish line. But i knew those last 6 km would take me about 2 hours and i was afraid my body wouldn’t take it. A very kind person came with his car and took me back to the hotel where i was taken care by the most caring nurse ever! I met her last year, and she was taking care of me as if i was her child. What an amazing lady. i’lll never forget hoe generous and helpful she was. I was sad, but i knew deep inside i made the right call, and was just relieved i didn’t end up in the hospital like last time.

On the next day, to my surprise, although all my body was sore, i went for a short hike around Ruka and i gazed at the hills i couldn’t run on the day before and felt so disappointed. I was wondering whether i gave up too easily. Maybe i did, maybe i didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

Despite all the pain and my sore and weak body, i don’t regret on any second of running on that day. I’ve been hurt the whole day but i’ve learnt a lot and i’lll never forget those 13 hours i spent there. It seems that every year the Karhunkierros teaches me an important lesson about running .

It teaches me about the resilience of running long hours in pain. Something which i know i’ll experience in the future. And the was one big positive things i'll have to remember: i didn't stop because of my legs. My legs were good. Even my hamstring was fine the next day. I stopped due to my weak body. I only hope it will never happen again...at least not in a race.